Raising two boys, especially two so close in age, is complete chaos. Even though they’re still young and I have a ton more to experience with them, there are some days that I feel like I may go insane. Every day is filled with the unknowing of what will happen, will they be sweet and caring little boys who listen or will they be moody little tyrants that only do what they want. It’s so much fun!
They Fight
The biggest thing that gets me is that they fight over the same things. They will have an entire mess of toys around them and they choose to fight over the SAME toy. There will be screaming, hitting, pushing, and pulling over it and then it turns into crying because only one will get it in the end. There is fighting over the same spot on the couch. They have other couches to choose from and instead of choosing any of the other numerous spots, they have to try and sit on each other. Usually, I intervene only because my brain can only handle so much of the screaming and crying or I’m afraid one of them is going to get hurt. Don’t forget that there is only one Mommy in the house so they have to fight over my attention too. “Mommy look at this, Mommy come here, Mommy he hit me, Mommy he took my toy, Mommy can I have this, Mommy can you get me something to eat, Mommy can you get me a drink, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” By the end of the day you would think that Mommy is the only word that they know how to say. Their fighting usually begins as yelling and screaming at each other but then it progresses into hitting, kicking and wrestling, especially when they get tired. I understand that this is only the beginning of the rough housing that is yet to come and that scares me.
They Have Attitude
If fighting over toys isn’t bad enough, they both have attitudes, especially my four year old. If they don’t get their way they will throw a fit. There will be kicking, screaming, yelling, throwing things and crying just because I said, “No.” Some family members who have experience raising boys, like my Grandma, have told me that I need to establish the “MOM” voice. Apparently my “MOM” voice needs more work because they just hear it and laugh. My four year old is the worst when it comes to this. He will talk back, try to manipulate you into getting his way, and if he doesn’t get his way he pouts, tells you he doesn’t like you, he’ll tell you to go away or he’ll cry and scream. I heard terrible twos were bad but what they don’t tell you is that it keeps going into their fours too. Now, I’m not for spankings unless they do something really really bad but I do believe that taking away privileges has helped a lot. I take away TV, tablet, toys, reading books at night and I’ll take their dessert away as well if they don’t listen. Also, I have found that sitting down and talking to them explaining how their behavior effects the situation helps. I will sit down with my four year old and ask him if yelling, screaming, crying and throwing things helps him get his way. He will respond with no, so I will talk to him about the right way of handling his emotions is by talking to me. By talking to me we can come up with an agreement together. For example, he wants to watch his tablet at the dinner table and I tell him that he isn’t allowed to have his tablet at the dinner table because that’s family time but if he eats all of his dinner then he can have a little bit of tablet time before bed. It doesn’t always work but it keeps me from yelling at him because he’s yelling at me, which solves absolutely nothing. If all else fails, then they will get sent to their room where they can calm down and so that I can calm down as well. My two year old isn’t too bad, he will get told that he can’t have something and he responds by either crossing his arms across his chest and crying about it for a few minutes until he loses interest or he will stick his tongue out at me, which I find too cute but don’t tell him that.
Monkey See Monkey Do
My two year does the monkey see monkey do act. Anything that my four year old does my two year old copies. My four year old takes full advantage of it and tries to get my two year old into trouble by telling him that it’s ok to do things. For example, my four year old knows that climbing onto the counters to get things is wrong but he will coax my two year into pushing a chair over to climb on the counter for him. My four year old thinks he’s so clever because he thinks the two year old will get into trouble and he won’t. What my four year old doesn’t realize is that my two year old is getting to the age where he can say, “he told me to do it!” They both end up getting into trouble because,of course, Mommy has eyes on the back of her head and can see EVERYTHING. If one boy gets something then you can expect that the other one is going to want it too. If one of them is doing something you can expect the other one is going to be doing it too. They don’t separate very often, so where you find one you’ll be sure to find the other near by.
They Love Each Other
Now don’t get me wrong, they have their good moments as well. They definitely love each other. They give each other hugs and kisses all the time. They are also just starting to get to the age where they will play with each other without me, giving me a little bit of free time to get some housework done. They like to cuddle on the couch and watch TV, which makes my heart melt. They will hold hands while we are driving in the car. They worry about each other, when one isn’t around or if one is sick. I want to raise them knowing that family is important and that no matter what happens in life their family will always be there for them. I want them to be best friends and be able to turn to each other if they ever need it.
Mama’s Boys
They love their Mommy and I enjoy every minute of the hugs, kisses and cuddles that come from it. Even though they know how to push every one of my buttons, they also know how to turn my heart into mush too. When they get hurt, a hug and kiss from Mommy will always make it better. When they’re playing they will look to make sure that I’m watching and every once in awhile they’ll run over for a hug. If they see something new, they will want to show you. If they have questions, they will come running to me for answers. I want to be the one who they always turn to when they’re sad, mad, upset, in trouble, have good news to share, if they just have questions, or if they just want someone to hang out with. They should grow up knowing that Mommy will always be there and that’s the way that it should be.
I love my boys and even though they make me want to rip my hair out and scream at times, they have my heart. It takes patience to raise two boys and now I see why as you get older you lose all of your patience, because kids take it away from you. I don’t have any grey hairs yet but I’m sure that they are coming! I know this is just the beginning and I have a lot more to experience but so far it’s definitely a crazy adventure raising two boys! I definitely want to read stories of everybody else’s crazy experiences raising their kids! Please feel free to share with me, especially if you have older kids, I’d like to know what to look forward to as they grow up. Thank you!